Dad guilt trips 19-year-old daughter for ruining stepmom’s relationship with her son, she defends herself that she never wanted the attention: “She was looking to take the role of mother figure. I didn’t see her that way”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 28, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Children are so malleable, their minds are almost like blank slates that are just ready to be influenced. You can tell a kid that the sky is only blue if they count to 10 every morning when they wake up and they'd believe you, at least for some time. But be ready for the whiplash of trust issues when the kid inevitably finds out that you lied straight to their face. Though children will believe anything you tell them, they'll also hold grudges and be traumatized for life with just one white lie. Children are delicate, and it's surprising the amount of people who grow up seemingly functional with all the things they went through. 

In the story below, the narrator is a teenager who grew up in a mixed household. Her mother has passed away, so she grew up with her father and stepmother full time. Her stepbrother, however, spent his time split between his mother's house and his father's. Over the years, her dad and stepmom find a way to blame her for the stepmom's failed relationship with her son. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to accept blame for my stepbrother's decision not to talk to my stepmother anymore?

    "None of it is on me"
    via Misha Voguel from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My dad and stepmother got married when I was 9 and my stepbrother was 11. I was a child. who lost my mom and my stepbrother was a child of divorce.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449

  • This is basically cruel to blame this teenage girl that her stepmom wasn't there for her son. It obviously has nothing to do with her, but they don't want to take on the responsibility. This stepmom and father should see therapy, they're not fit to be parents. 

  • 03
    So I was always at their house while my stepbrother divided his time between his parents.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 04
    When my stepmother came into my life she was looking to take the role of a mother figure. I did not see her in that way. I accepted her making my dad happy. But to me the mother figures were my mom
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 05
    who d d and my two grandma's. My dad never tried to take on a father figure role for my stepbrother because his dad was alive and that relationship was allowed to just exist as whatever.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 06
    This was not true for me and my stepmother. To this day I find it unfair even though my dad has said he still disagrees. He thinks I needed my stepmother more than I let her be needed. That's how he puts it anyway.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 07
    My stepmother spent a lot of time trying to become more than just the woman my dad was married to. This did come at the expense of her own son and even at times my half siblings. We never fought as such.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 08
    But she was determined to become a mother figure and if I went to either grandma for something instead of her she focused extra attention on me.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 09
    Eventually the three of us (dad, stepmother and me) went to family therapy and the therapist had us all do some work. It ended with no
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 10
    major changes except my stepmother focused less of her attention on me.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10510345216
    via Billion Photos / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    I think this came too late for my stepbrother or he never got to experience the change of focus. Recently he told his mom that she chose someone else's kid over her
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 13
    own and said their relationship was done. My dad called to tell me. A few weeks later my dad called me again and chewed me out for not changing my relationship with my stepmother after 'costing her a relationship with her son'. My dad
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 14
    laid the blame on me. He said if I'd let her be a mother figure to me and was willing to be closer with her then she wouldn't have needed to spend so much time on me.
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 15
    I told him none of that was on me, it was on her and I do not claim any responsibility for my stepmother and stepbrother's relationship. He told me I should because I know I'm the cause of it going wrong. AITA?
    via u/Individual-Tie-9449
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10510344960
    via ktsimage from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    ProfessorDistinct835 • 16h ago NTA. You did nothing to sabotage her relationship with your step-brother. She did that all on her own. And you were pretty clear from the
    via u/ProfessorDistinct835
  • 18
    start that you didn't view her as a replacement for your mother. So that's on her too.
    via u/ProfessorDistinct835
  • 19
    This situation is sad but entirely predictable. And it's hers to solve, not yours.
    via u/ProfessorDistinct835
  • 20
    karmamama66 • 16h ago Good grief your dad is a moron.
    via u/karmamama66
  • 21
    NYCStoryteller ⚫ 16h ago NTA. Your stepmother overcompensated trying to win you over as a bonus mom and she overstepped, and she
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 22
    damaged her relationship with her own kids in the process. That is hers to deal with in therapy.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 23
    You had a mom, and you had grandmothers. You weren't looking for a replacement mother figure. Maybe your DAD needed you to have a
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 24
    mom, and he found a woman who was only too happy to play that role, even if it meant neglecting her own children. This isn't your problem, either.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 25
    Your dad and your stepmother should have just accepted her being a bonus adult/step- parent the way your dad got to be, and focused on
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 26
    building a well-balanced blended family. Now they're finding out the damage they did.
    via u/NYCStoryteller

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family drama stepmother drama toxic siblings family feud relationships lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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